Chocolate Rum Bomb

Once you make one c*ntcake, suddenly that's your thang... Read on if you dare

This is just the base...

Chocolate Rum Coconut Clunge Bomb

This recipe comes from the internet. I can't remember where. The coconut cream comes from the passionfruit cake recipe, but I altered it slightly to complement the cake.

Ingredients:

Cake:

250g butter or baking margarine

2 cups sugar

4 eggs

1/2 cup dark rum

1 tsp almond extract

1 tsp vanilla extract

2 cups plain flour

1 cup cocoa powder

1 tsp baking powder

1 tsp baking soda

1/8 tsp nutmeg

1 cup hot water

Chocolate Rum Frosting:

2 cups double cream

1/2 tsp almond extract

1/2 tsp vanilla extract

1 cup icing sugar, sifted

1 cup cocoa powder, sifted

1/2 cup dark rum

Coconut Rum Cream Frosting:

150g mascarpone

400g can coconut milk, refrigerated overnight

1 tbsp caster sugar

300ml double cream

2 Tbsp dark rum

Pink and orange food dye

Decoration:

Red modelling icing

Pink modelling icing

Fuchsia modelling icing

Red jam

Any red jam is fine, strawberry, raspberry what have you

Instructions

Cake:

Preheat an oven to 180˚C

Grease and flour 2 cake pans

Cream together butter and sugar until light and fluffy

Add eggs one at a time, beating well after each addition

Add rum, vanilla and almond extracts and beat until blended

Add dry ingredients in three additions alternating with hot water

These pictures show the first four steps

Pour batter into prepared pans, and bake until the cakes test not quite done, c.40 minutes

It took my cakes 1 hour for the sphere and 40 minutes for the other one

I only took a picture of one of the finished cakes cooked in the pan

Let cool in pans 10 minutes, then turn out to cool completely

Chocolate Rum Frosting:

Beat double cream until foamy

Add vanilla and almond extracts

Gradually add sifted cocoa powder and icing sugar until blended

Add rum and beat until smooth and thick

The steps to making icing don't photograph well, this is what it looks like:

Coconut Rum Cream Frosting:

Combine 75g of the thick coconut cream and the rest of the ingredients in an stand mixer and beat until combined

Add food dye as desired

If you want more explicit instructions, see the recipe for passionfruit cupcakes

Assembly:

Set the bottom layer on a cake base and spread a layer of chocolate frosting over it

Top with the second layer, and frost around it with the chocolate frosting, filling any creases

Refrigerate at least 30 minutes so the coconut rum cream covers it easily

Spread coconut rum cream frosting over the cake

Decoration:

Using the pink and fuchsia modelling icing, make your outer labia

Use the pink icing to make large outer lips, and then a thin layer of fuchsia for interior colour

Mix together about a ping pong ball worth of icing, 1/2 red 1/2 fuchsia, and spread this between the two to form the interior of the vulva

Mix together the same amount, using roughly 3/4 red and 1/4 fuchsia, and fashion this to make the interior labia and clitoris, and apply it to the model.

Use red icing to form a sphincter and fuchsia to make a perineum

It helps to wrap the icing for the sphincter around a toothpick to make the right shape

Set finished vulva on the centre of the cake, and apply jam to the inside for a wet look